My Little Back Story: My Relationship with the Occult and the Supernatural

 My POV of the Supernatural

The supernatural is something that I suppose, has always been familiar to me. Sensing things that cannot be seen by the naked eye but can be sensed by other senses, or even seeing things with my naked eye that are difficult to explain under "normal" circumstances-- they were all part of my childhood. Every now and then, I would post short recollections from such events in my childhood here in this blog. 

My History with the Occult

Oh, this is gonna be boring and typical, trust me. But if you're either that curious or that bored, then go ahead, read away...

I started "playing" with playing cards the way you would a tarot deck when I was... Eleven years old? I printed out guides on how to read each card and "attempted" to memorize the meanings. "Attempt" being the keyword here, I failed. My interests as a tween hopped from one subject to another. Five years later, I picked up the same cartomancy  guide while I was cleaning up my stash of papers. Like any curious teenaged dreamer, I started painting a lot of "what-if" scenarios in my head about my future; my career, my crush, the weather during my next P.E. class, and every random petty "what-if's" most teenagers would come up with whenever they day dream. 

Having the printed guide in my hands, I decided to give divination another go. This time, with the blind and playful excitement of youth. That being said, I had never taken any of the results of my readings seriously. I had never even bothered to read for my friends back then. But looking back, years later, I realized my readings didn't lie to me. My faith in divination grew stronger as I got older. 

At around 18 years old, I stumbled upon the terms 'empath' and 'HSP' (Highly Sensitive Person). I then spent my late teens and my early twenties connecting with different people who identify as either of the two. In between, I met people who practiced different forms of magic and divination both online and offline- from tarot cards, runes, pendulums, crystals, and everything else in between. There were people who relied on their "visions", and some who relied on other forms of "clairsenses". Meanwhile, there were also those who focused purely on the "technical" aspects of their chosen divination practice and spiritual principles; people who strictly followed books and traditions; people who followed a certain path, observed the Native Indian divination practices, the Chinese astrology, Wiccan rituals, and all sorts of customs all in similar groups. I was ecstatic. I began to navigate where I felt like I belonged.  

During breaks from the craziness of daily life, I continued to read up on topics relating to the supernatural and the things that border between the mundane and the superstitious. I continued to ask different people online and offline about their personal experiences growing up in relation to how they identified themselves in the realm of the "not-so-normal". I even started volunteering as a free client for practicing tarot readers (back then, not everybody had the confidence to proclaim themselves as "readers" or "psychics" despite having been born with that gift). Online, I would share my experiences and occasional dreams and visions in a particular community. Offline, I would ask questions about encounters with souls and spirits to actual mediums.

And so my first reading went...

Image source: https://i.redd.it/wq86iagwe5d31.jpg

Eventually, I began to explore what else I can do beyond what my senses involuntarily picks up on. I was on a thread about "spirit guides" when a lady who was participating in the conversation sent me a private message. For the first time in my life, at 23 years old, I "read" for someone else. I didn't have any cards with me at that time. Neither did I have any knowledge on how to use any kind of divination tool "professionally". I admitted to the lady that all I could do at that moment was to sense out present feelings and get hazy visions which will probably kick in at random (if she's lucky). Strangely, she wouldn't leave me alone. She insisted that I help her "read" her love life. 

We were in a group of hundreds of psychics, fortune tellers, mediums, empaths, HSP's, witches, and sorcerers of different levels, ethnicities, and paths. And I was sure many of them wouldn't mind sparing a lady in love with a quick reading, especially one who was in the same private social media group as they were.  Heck, there was a young woman giving out free readings a few times a month in the group. All we had to do was comment on her post. And yet there was that lady, in my inbox. Insisting I be the one to help her out. I remember feeling both puzzled and nervous. I couldn't shake her off, I was so close to blocking her from reaching my inbox.

Eventually, I gave in and gave it a shot with every ounce of concentration I could muster. Long story short, I pulled through. But I swear to God, I felt nauseous and feverish afterwards. It was an odd experience. She actually popped up a few times more in my inbox after that (More about that experience on this post)

Aight. Enough of my boring past. 

So what the feck do I do these days?

Doing normal human things. I work. I cry. Binge-watch Asian dramas. Stare at the wind with bubbling anger at the pit of my stomach while I drink my coffee in the mor--  Seriously though, just everyday mundane things. I work, do chores, take care of my indoor plants, spend time with the people I care about, get drunk on Wednesdays and Saturdays, shitpost on tumblr, and occasionally post tips and recollections of my previous experiences in relation to the occult and the supernatural.

I'm nobody significant in the field of occultism or rocket science; I'm just another magical, dramatic, and chaotic lady interested in chaos magic :)